Prashant Priyadarshi, alias’Bahaar‘, has two distinct personalities – one he assumes when he’s hanging out, and the other when he’s out. “I identify as gay and like to be referred to as ‘she / her’ when I’m dating and ‘he / him’ when I’m out of dating. “
Priyadarshi, originally from Patna but working in Bengaluru, runs a clothing manufacturing company and a marketing production house. He is also a content creator on Trell, a lifestyle and shopping video app.
“I knew [I was gay] when I was 13. I had my very first kiss at school with a classmate. I told my best friend about it in college. Until then, I was in the closet “, he shares with indianexpress.com.
While Priyadarshini was released into the world in 2013, his family found out three years later, in 2016.
“I was scared to death”
Before embracing his truth in front of his family, Priyadarshini was “scared to death”. He shares with this outlet that he had assumed that he “will be disowned by everyone, and no one will ever speak to [him] again. “” I was petrified. In fact, I did not speak directly to my mother. I had asked my best friend to do it over the phone, because I did not have the courage.
What happened next was something he hadn’t imagined.
“My mom called my sister and cried on the phone. Not because her only son turned out to be gay, but because she thought she could have helped me have a better childhood. [That she] could have supported me when I was being bullied, could have helped me manage my mental health, could have made me feel like a normal boy.
“She cried because she thought she had failed as a mother because she could not understand the misery of her son with whom he had lived for two decades.”
Her sister, who Priyadarshini had come out to earlier, also became emotional. “She’s always been so supportive.”
“I would not have survived without friends”
Lucky for him, Priyadarshini has allies in his friends. “I thank all my friends, who have been there for me through thick and thin. I wouldn’t have survived without them, ”he says, adding that people in the LGBTQ + community have to accept themselves first.
“You have to start loving yourself first. Once you do that, you’ll notice everything else falls into place automatically. The way you look at yourself is the way others will perceive you. So always keep your head up and wear your personality with confidence; be courageous, ”he concludes.